The Lower Strangling Chronicles
An important meeting was about to happen in the southern part of the San Francisco Bay Area; the world’s major tech companies were gathering to show each other who the top dog was.
Representing the United Kingdom was Banana, created by Noah Campbell, the world’s second leading technology company behind
Apple, and coming close to overtaking them.
“Is everyone seated comfortably?” Noah said to his subordinates as they seated themselves in Business Class on their British Airways flight from London Heathrow to San Carlos.
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.
“Excellent,” Noah said. “I hope Dave is equally at home where he’s seated.”
Dave Peterson, a man Noah believed to be his best employee and a possible successor to the business, was tucked up in a small window seat in Economy.
Not because his colleagues had punished him or because he lost a bet at work but because he wanted to.
You see, Dave had a complicated relationship with money.
He wasn’t poor, far from that; he was just a miser.
Ever since he was young, his mother showed him the importance of saving money and budgeting, even if you have a six-figure salary.
From then on, Dave has always found ways to cut corners wherever possible, even going so far as to send his children to a comprehensive school with a bad reputation and terrible OFSTED results that they didn’t want to go to instead of the private school of their choice just because it was near their village and provided free education.
The only reason he lived in a 15th Century Manor in one of the most desirable villages in the Cotswolds was that his wife persuaded him, knowing full well that he’d spend the following years in their council house going on about how he should have just bought that manor he saw in Country Life magazine.
So now, Dave was packed in tight on a full flight to America whilst the rest of his team lapped it up in business.
Noah thought it was odd that Dave wanted to sit in a class people only sat in because they had no other choice, but he accepted it.
After the usual safety checks and take-off, the flight was well on its way to its destination.
Dave was pressed against the plane’s cold wall, unable to move even an inch to his left.
Once it was safe to use his phone, Noah decided to call Dave to see how he was doing.
But it was no use; Dave didn’t answer the call; he had his phone turned off.
An Air Hostess walked through Business Class carrying a tray with a delectable range of drinks.
“Anyone in the mood for Champagne?” Noah asked his employees.
“Yes, please, mate,” Liam Davies, one of the Technicians at Banana, said. “I could do with some bubbly.”
Noah’s other employees also expressed their interest in having a glass, so the Air Hostess poured one for each of them and handed it out.
Noah leaned in closer to the woman.
“An employee of mine is in Economy. Is it possible to send a glass down to him?”
The air hostess solemnly shook her head. “I’m afraid not, sir. But there is a range of drinks in Economy from which he can choose.”
“Oh well,” Noah said. “His loss, I suppose.”
Dave began to regret his seat choice as he drank a small plastic cup of Pepsi.
He ached all over, and it was another nine hours until the plane reached his destination.
There were plenty of aisle seats, but he wanted to sit by the window to look at the view. Now, he realises that it may have been a wrong decision.
Two hours had passed before it was time for lunch.
Noah ate his sumptuous meal whilst watching a debate between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition in time for the General Election happening back in Britain in three weeks, even though he already knew who he was voting for and nobody could change his mind, even the leaders of the parties involved.
“How is everyone’s lunch?” He said eventually, turning away from the debate to check on his employees. “Everything satisfactory?”
They all nodded with approval, their mouths too full to respond verbally.
“Good,” Noah said. “I’ll just see how Dave’s getting on.”
Noah got out his phone and tried calling Dave again, but Dave sent the call to voicemail.
He put his phone back into his pocket and resumed watching the debate.
He had missed the last few minutes but didn’t care; it probably wasn’t anything important.
Meanwhile, Dave ate his Chicken and Rice. The space between the seats was so small that the passenger beside him could not eat without elbowing him, meaning he had to lean closer to the window to enjoy his lunch.
Despite the uncomfortable position in which he had to eat it, Dave quite liked the small compartments in which the catering staff had elegantly displayed each part of the meal and made a mental note to suggest to Noah that he do something similar at work as an alternative to visiting the local Pret.
In Business Class, Noah and Dave’s colleagues finished their lunch, and the TV debate finished, with Noah not sure whether Rishi Sunak or Kier Starmer had broken any new ground.
Noah sat up in his seat.
“Now then, I think we should have a meeting before the meeting,” he said, turning towards the others around him.
The others sat up attentively and immediately got into professional mode.
“Shouldn’t Dave join us?” Giles Richardson, another Banana Technician, said.
“I would invite Dave to join us on Zoom, but there’s no method of contacting him at the moment,” Noah said. “But we can bring him up to date once we land.”
And so the entire workforce of Banana Corps, minus one, turned towards one another and had a briefing about the conference they were about to attend.
In Economy, Dave was beginning to lose all feeling in his body.
He looked at the flight show; five hours remained.
Dave decided that the best thing to do was to have a snooze, so he put on his eye mask, sat back, and relaxed as best he could.
Those five hours passed, and finally, the plane landed at San Carlos Airport.
Dave woke up, amazed that he slept for the remaining five hours.
He got up, his brain trying to remember how to stand and walk.
Eventually, he got his belongings from the overhead compartment and could exit the plane.
Dave reunited with his colleagues and manager at the baggage retrieval carousel at San Carlos.
“Dave!” Noah said, giving Dave a warm embrace. “How were things in Economy? Not too cramped, I hope.”
“It was good, yeah,” Dave said. “I look forward to doing it again.”
“Splendid,” Noah said before he instructed his team to follow him from the airport towards their hotel.
“Unfortunately, you missed the Champagne and our briefing, but we shall fill you in once we’ve settled into the hotel,” Noah said.
“Looking forward to it,” Dave said.
“I admit I would have taken us in my private jet had it not been confiscated,” Noah said. “I hope the next government does something about the new carbon emissions regulations.”
“We can only hope,” Dave said.
“Why didn’t we go in your helicopter, boss?” Liam said. “That got confiscated, too?”
“No, no,” Noah said. “But it would have been too small to take us all back to San Fransisco. Besides, it’s intended for short domestic flights.”
Dave was relieved that the walk to the hotel was reasonably short and the check-in was quick.
He flopped onto his bed, quite glad to see the back of the plane.
But then he remembered; he’d also booked a window seat in Economy for the return journey.
“Oh dear”, he thought.
The Robinsonverse 