“When are you going to relax and enjoy the pretty flowers?” Jo Whitely said to her girlfriend, Janet, as they walked around RHS Harlow Carr near Harrogate. “When I know for certain that I will not bump into my dad here.” Janet said. “Was your dad particularly keen on visiting gardens?” Jo said. “Not thatContinue reading “Janet’s Blast From the Past”
Tag Archives: Satire
Father’s Day At the Tower
“It’s odd to think that the country’s most dangerous people are below our feet right now,” John said as he observed the wildflowers that were currently surrounding the iconic tower of London. “Yeah. You just wouldn’t have known if you didn’t know already,” Adele, John’s daughter, said. John had not visited the Tower, or LondonContinue reading “Father’s Day At the Tower”
Deluge at the Platinum Jubilee Celebrations
It was the first Sunday in a month of five Sundays, and the residents of Lower Strangling plus some people from nearby sat along a long table covered in a Union Jack tablecloth, eating a meal to celebrate the Platinum Jubilee whilst also raising money for the people suffering the most from the cost-of-living crisis.Continue reading “Deluge at the Platinum Jubilee Celebrations”
The Vicar’s Retreat
It was a sunny early May morning, and the Rev. Simon Abernathy was the happiest he’d been for a while. Spring was well underway, and the world hadn’t ended as previously predicted by the Pope. He sat on a bench and quietly observed the medicinal plants in the Physic garden of St Jericho’s, the MonasteryContinue reading “The Vicar’s Retreat”
The Housewarming Party
“Quite a marvellous view from up here,” Simon said as he looked through the window over the sweeping Warwickshire countryside. “Indeed,” Horatio Smyth, the recently appointed Bishop of Knightlow, said, “it’s probably the best Episcopal residence I’ve been in.” For over 200 years, Upper Strangling Tower had been home to the Bishop of Knightlow. ItContinue reading “The Housewarming Party”
A Playwright Walks Into A Pub
Maude Lexington sat silently at a table in the Hangman’s Noose, observing the people around her whilst discreetly writing in her notebook. Maude was very good at being invisible. She sat silently in the background whilst everyone else crumbled around her, only to ruin their reputation by writing a play that portrayed them in aContinue reading “A Playwright Walks Into A Pub”
The Search for Evidence
Ever since finding Nazi memorabilia in his loft, Simon was determined to find out who owned them. During his free time (even his non-free time) Simon scoured the internet and various documents to find any sign of a Nazi sympathiser in Lower Strangling to no avail. Until he had an idea; the parish records. ThereContinue reading “The Search for Evidence”
The Vicar’s Shocking Discovery
Although it was only February, the Rev. Simon Abernathy started his spring cleaning early, as he had nothing else to do. The loft at the vicarage was a place Simon had rarely ventured into since he moved in over 30 years ago, and he felt it was time to see what was in there andContinue reading “The Vicar’s Shocking Discovery”
The Guy Fawkes Memorial Service
It was the last day in January, and the Rev. Simon Abernathy once again entered the Roman Catholic Church in Upper Strangling for the annual Guy Fawkes Memorial service; a service that was held more so that the pianist had an excuse to play Elton John’s Song For Guy than that they particularly sympathised withContinue reading “The Guy Fawkes Memorial Service”
Back to School
“Well, children, here we are again.” Gerald Braidwidth, headteacher of Zanzibar, said to his students as they sat crossed legged on the wooden floor of the sports hall, ready as they’ll ever be to resume the school year, which wasn’t very. Eleanor surveyed her fellow students in the hall. She knew something was very wrongContinue reading “Back to School”
The Lower Strangling Chronicles 