Baseless Society (pretentious title from Chat GPT)
It was only a couple of days before October, but it was still a strangely hot day.
Geoffrey Johnson battled through the heat as he relieved a border of an infestation of dandelions.
He wasn’t in his happiest moods. Partly because someone had viciously felled his favourite tree in Northumberland, next to Hadrian’s Wall, during the night, and partly because his employer, Lord Christoph Flooding, hadn’t got back to him regarding allowing his team of gardeners to go home earlier in the day during the hotter months.
But today, that was about to change.
“Geoffrey!” Lord Flooding said as he walked over to his Head Gardener, with his ever loyal butler, Bert Stevens, in tow.
“Alright?” Geoffrey said, quickly dabbing as an afterthought so that his master could trust in his loyalty.
“I can see you’re doing some excellent work.” Christoph said.
“Thank you, sir. Just doing what I’ve been doing these past thirty years.” Geoffrey said.
“I’ve been thinking about your suggestion for the gardeners to leave early during the fiery inferno of summer,” Christoph said.
“Great. It’s been bugging me for a while. This heat is getting almost unbearable. We can’t work properly in it.” Geoffrey said.
“I’m afraid I cannot allow you to leave early. I expect you to work the full eight hours I pay your for. I may, however, find enough money in my budget to provide you all with one of these.” Christoph said.
Christoph took out a white paper fan from his pocket and unfurled it. He wafted it in front of his face to demonstrate how this strange piece of technology worked.
“Sir, how are we supposed to use this whilst using our tools? I can’t dig a border with one hand.” Geoffrey said.
“If this is not to your liking, Geoffrey, then I may supply this instead.” Christoph said, taking out a cheap electronic fan from his pocket and holding it in front of Geoffrey’s face.
“That’s very nice, sir,” Geoffrey said, briefly enjoying the cool breeze coming from the fan Christoph was holding on his face.
“What say you?” Christoph said, placing the fan in his pocket.
Geoffrey pondered for a moment. Letting the gardening team go home early would be more effective, but Geoffrey was hesitant to upset Christoph and face potential consequences.
He glanced around the garden at the other gardeners, doing their work. They were being very stoic, but he knew they were sweltering.
He turned back to Christoph, who was glaring at him.
“Come on, I haven’t got all day.” Christoph said.
“We’ll go with the electric fans.” Geoffrey eventually said. “I’ll find a way to do my gardening duties with one hand.”
“Very well. I shall have them ready by Monday. Although I assume you may not need them until next June.” Christoph said.
“You can’t be too sure about that, sir,” Geoffrey said. “The climates changing so damn fast, we may soon be as hot as an Australian summer all year round.”
“Indeed.” Christoph said. “Carry on, Geoffrey.” He then sauntered off back towards his mansion.
“As you wish, Christoph.” Geoffrey said, before resuming his weeding session.
After he’d dug up a particularly large thistle, one of his under gardeners approached him.
“Apparently, a sixteen-year-old chopped the Sycamore Gap tree down.” The gardener said.
Geoffrey’s face fell. “Just what would be going through a kiddies’ head to make them do something as heinous as that?”
“No idea. But I’ve heard the tree is being replanted.” The gardener said.
“That’s good to know. But it’ll never be the same.” Geoffrey said with a sigh.
“What were you talking to Christoph about?” The gardener asked.
“Never you mind. Now get back to work before he sees you, and put on some sunscreen.” Geoffrey said.
“Ok, Geoff.” The gardener said, before returning to his spade and patch of border.
As Geoffrey continued to weed, he observed a large Cedar Tree in the middle of the lawn.
“At least you’re still here, old friend,” Geoffrey said.
He vowed to himself never to chop down that tree, even if Christoph ordered him to.
There were certain things in life worth dying for, and that was one of them.
The Robinsonverse 