Vaultless Ambition (with help from Chat GPT- the idea, I wrote it myself)
“Now then, Geoffrey. How about you work for me instead of that tosspot, Flooding?” George Darcy, Marquess of Arden and Chief Traditional whip of the House of Lords, said to Geoffrey Johnson, a lowly head gardener working at a nearby country estate.
Geoffrey stretched his head, wondering how to reply. “I dunno, sir. I quite like working for Christoph, I do.”
”Tell me what he’s paying you, and I’ll pay you double,” George said.
”That’s a kind offer, sir, it really is,” Geoffrey said. “But I don’t think I can accept. Christoph wouldn’t take it too kindly if I left, and although I’m no fascist, I’m not that much of a Trad, neither.”
George scoffed. “Don’t worry about that. I leave politics firmly in Westminster. Besides, I had to leave any sort of tribalism I had behind when my son married a rabid communist.”
Sally Darcy, George’s daughter-in-law and a youth pastor at the local church in Stratford, sighed in indignation. “For the last time, I’m not a communist! I’m vaguely left-wing at best.”
”Quite frankly, my dear, it’s all the same to me,” George said, before returning to the topic at hand. “So, Geoffrey, what’s it to be?”
Geoffrey pondered for a moment. “I’m afraid it’s a no, sir.”
”Very well,” George said, before calling the large group before him to gather closer.
The reason there was a large group of people standing on the sweeping lawns of Rosewood Hall, the country pile of the Marquess of Arden, was because he was holding a tour of the estate for local dignitaries in Avonvale Parliamentary Constituency and their families.
As for how Geoffrey, a simple man from the West Country, found himself amongst this group of distinguished guests, well, that was because his son was an Administrator for Avonvale; basically a cross between a councillor, civil servant, and a police officer, just to ensure any major disasters are averted, you know?
“Welcome, everyone, to Rosewood Hall, home to my family for three hundred years.” George began.
George continued to droll on for some time about the construction of the house, and the first Darcy’s to live there. Most of the
dignitaries were interested, apart from George’s own son William and his wife, who’d already heard about the family history countless times every time they caught up with him.
”Now then, if you’d like to follow me, we’ll start in the Great Hall.” George eventually said, leading the group of people into Rosewood Hall itself.
The tour group gasped in awe as they entered the grand room, adorned with priceless artworks and antique items of furniture.
Most impressed was Geoffrey, who’d never seen such elegance in his life, even in the mansion of Lord Christoph Flooding, the man he worked for.
George told everyone about the history of the room and the various paintings on the walls, and then he announced something exciting.
”There are many precious artefacts within my collection, and I wish to give some over to you.” George said.
Suddenly intrigued, the tour group gathered round the Marquess, Geoffrey rubbing his hands with glee.
“But there is a catch.” George said, disappointing the group, “for I have hidden the items around the house. Any items you find are yours to keep, so long as you enjoy them and do not immediately flog them off on eBay.”
“Are there any in this room?” Brigadier Sir Gordon Ainsworth, Chief Administrator of Avonvale and Geoffrey’s son’s manager, said.
“Yes, if you look hard enough,” George said.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Gordon said, immediately skulking around the room.
The rest of the group followed him, looking behind every item of furniture, every open door, even behind every picture frame.
“Ah ha!” Gordon said, pulling out an original seventeenth Century Sabre from behind a Chippendale chest of drawers.
“Congratulations, Ainsworth, you have found the first item.’ George said.
“It’s almost like the one my fifteen times Great Grandfather wielded during the Civil War,” Gordon said. “The one that was wrongfully taken from him during the Battle of Edge Hill.”
“Yes, indeed.” George said, laughing awkwardly.
Gordon smiled as he admired his new sword, “I certainly see this coming to good use.”
“Better not anger you then, Gord.” Joseph Benson, MP for Stratford-Upon-Avon, said.
“Right, on with the tour,” George said, leading the tour group into the next room.
In the next room, as George recounted his birth in the bedroom he was born in, the Rev. Elias Blackwood found an original King James Bible hidden underneath the pillow.
“Ah, excellent, Reverend, a rather fitting find.” George said.
Elias quickly pocketed the Bible, and the tour group moved into the next room.
“If you find anything, let me know, won’t you, boy?,” Geoffrey asked his son, who merely nodded his head in response.
In every room, George would recount a detailed history littered with amusing anecdotes, as his guests looked under every nook and cranny for hidden treasure.
Various items were discovered. Jewels, historical clothing, military memorabilia, priceless paintings that looked alarmingly like those stolen from international art galleries etc.
Mostly everyone in the group had find a piece of historical treasure to take home with them. Except, of course, for old Geoffrey.
As the tour neared its end, Geoffrey became increasingly glum.
Eventually, George led the group out into the immaculate garden.
“The parkland surrounding us was designed in the 18th Century by Lancelot Brown, whilst the formal gardens were designed in the 19th century by Robert Marnock.” George said.
“There ain’t any treasure hidden out here is there?” Geoffrey asked, getting restless.
The rest of the group looked around the gardens, to see if anything was poking out of the topiary.
“There should be, Geoffrey, if you look hard enough.” George said..
“Right, off to work I go.” Geoffrey said, walking deep into the garden to find hidden treasure.
“As I was saying, Robert Marnock designed the gardens we are in during the 19th century.” George said.
“I think I’ve found something, you know.” Geoffrey said, half his arm stuck in a Yew hedge.
He removed his arm out, and in his hand was… a garden gnome.
The rest of the group applauded Geoffrey as he rushed back to them holding his prize.
“Jolly good show, Geoffrey. Really very good.” Gordon said.
“There was me thinking I’d never find anything, and here I am with the best treasure of all, a little friend for Geoffrey Jr. in the garden back home.” Geoffrey said.
“Well, that should be all the treasure found.” George said. “And so, it is time to conclude the tour.
George finally finished telling everyone about the history of the garden. Mostly everyone was interested, as they had all found their treasure.
Soon, it was time to leave Rosewood Hall and drive to the nearby Alcester Hall for the tour given by William Darcy and his wife Sally.
Unfortunately, they didn’t have anything nearly as exciting planned.
The Robinsonverse 