The Lower Strangling Chronicles
“I would have assumed Noah would have done this next year, when he hits the big six-oh,” Sarah said to Dave, as she looked out over the London skyline from the top of 20 Fenchurch Street.
“So would I, but I guess he’ll take any excuse to hold a big party for his subordinates,” Dave said.
For the first time since before COVID, Noah Campbell could hold his annual birthday bash for his employees and their spouses at the top of the Banana Building.
Sarah and Dave continued to admire the lit up skyscrapers of the Big Smoke, as Noah Campbell himself walked up to them.
“Dave, Sarah. How are we?” Noah said.
“Very well, Noah, thank you,” Sarah said. “It’s nice to be back on the fortieth floor.”
“It’s better than standing in a field at 06:45, placing tax into a stone square, isn’t it?*” Noah said.
Dave sighed.
“The Wroth Silver ceremony is an eight-hundred-and-fifty-two-year-old ceremony that continues purely to keep it alive,” Dave said. “I just thought you’d like to experience a traditional Warwickshire custom.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I did not particularly enjoy it, nor would I visit it again,” Noah said. “I’m not keen on paying tax at the best of times, but I’m especially not keen on paying tax unnecessarily in a muddy field in November at 06:00.”
“You weren’t paying tax, you were watching other people pay tax,” Dave said.
“I was still standing in a muddy field in November at 06:00,” Noah said.
Almost seeing the tension in the air, Sarah cut it. “But that was last year, and this year we’re in the warm in a London skyscraper. Let’s just focus on that, shall we?”
“Yes, I guess so,” Noah said. “Right, help yourselves to Champagne. The buffet is at 19:00.”
With that, Noah walked over to some other people in the room. Dave and Sarah watched him as he did so.
“The Wroth Silver ceremony was a year ago. I can’t believe he’s still hung up on that,” Dave said.
“To be honest, I think he has a hangup about the area around Lower Strangling after Robert grilled him at the vicarage barbecue**.”
“I guess, but still. I would have thought he’d have moved on by now,” Dave said.
“Me too,” Sarah said. “Me too.”
The Petersons resumed looking out over London, but Dave’s colleague Liam Davis and his wife Leila cut their sightseeing short.
“Whey-hey, Davvy boy!” Liam said to Dave, making him jolt by hitting on the back as he usually did.
Dave and Sarah greeted Dave’s slightly too enthusiastic colleague.
“It’s great being back here, innit?” Liam said. “Beats being on Zoom at any rate***.”
“The kid’s probably wouldn’t agree,” Sarah said. “I think they’d got used to not having Simon recite the King James Bible as a bedtime story.”
“We disappointed our kids by leaving them with a babysitter again, too,” Leila said.
“But, hey, who cares what they think if it means we can have a night on the town?” Liam said before chortling to himself.
Dave sighed before taking a sip of his Château Lafite Rothschild, 1923.
“Although, I would have preferred it if this party had been at his mansion in Cornwall,” Liam said. “I still don’t know why he’s never had us round.”
“Because it would remind him too much of that party he had with Frederick Berenstain,” Dave said.
“Yeah, but would it, though?” Liam said. “That was over thirty years ago, and there wouldn’t be any kids.”
“Yeah, but it would still be a large party at his mansion.” Dave said. “That would be enough to make it all flood back.”
“I suppose,” Liam said.
“We could always visit St Mawes ourselves if you’re interested in a Cornish excursion,” Leila said.
“We could indeed,” Liam said. “Perhaps we’ll do that next summer.”
Leila sipped her Bollinger before she, Dave, Sarah, and Liam noticed the elegant female companion of their other colleague Giles Richardson.
She had long blond hair and a sparkly gold dress, and was at least twenty years Gile’s junior.
“Ey, hold up. Looks like Giles has found a missus,” Liam said.
“I think that’s the Ukrainian Refugee he’s housing,” Dave said.
Liam laughed.
“Nah, can’t be. She looks too pretty to have escaped a war zone,” Liam said.
Sarah glared at Liam. “She’s been here for a few months, Liam. She obviously cleaned herself up since then.”
“I guess, I guess,” Liam said.
“I think I’ll talk to her. See how she’s getting on.” Leila said, walking over to Giles and his mysterious Ukrainian companion.
“I think I’ll join you,” Sarah said, walking off with her.
And so, Dave and Liam watched their wives talk to someone more interested, before turning round and looking out over the city skyline once more.
It was good to be back.
* For Noah’s 58th birthday, Dave invited him to Lower Strangling to witness the ancient Wroth Silver Ceremony, he didn’t enjoy it very much, as you can read here:
** As can be read here:
*** The previous two Christmases, the annual Banana Christmas party had been held via Zoom due to the COVID-19 pandemic, as can be read here:
And here:
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