The Curious Tale of Patrick O’Brien

For meat magnate Patrick O’Brien, the COVID-19 lockdown was actually beneficiary, for he needed to remain hidden from the prying eyes of the media, the public, and, most importantly, Stuart Kennedy and Warwickshire Police.

Patrick O’Brien ran the most successful meat business in England; Paddy O’Brien’s. He had several meat processing factories and abattoirs across the country, and most of the carnivores in England ate meat that was made by him. The business made most people forget about his history of animal abuse and paedophilia, but he knew that soon people would probably remember, including the Police. So he needed to remain hidden just in case.

And his rural estate in rural Warwickshire was the perfect place to hide. Like Noah Campbell, he could exercise all he liked without leaving his property as he had an extensive deer park, formal gardens, and even a Croquet lawn for when he felt like playing Croquet with the members of staff he hadn’t furloughed.

And if that wasn’t enough, he also had an underground sex dungeon for when he wanted something a little more thrilling than Croquet or walking.

You see, Patrick O’Brien was a sexual deviant, part of the reason why he was a wanted criminal. He was sexually aroused by many different things, mainly by abusing animals and children and being close to the point of death.

His paedophilia was what had brought him to his estate just outside Warwick in the first place. The house belonged to his Grandparents and was inherited by him and his sister, Aoife, when they died. Fortunately, this provided Patrick with a means of escape when the authorities in his native Ireland finally charged him with child sex offenses. He got the ferry to England just before the Police could come to him.

Of course, soon enough Warwickshire Police had also found out about Patrick’s antics, and so they got to him as well. But Patrick had a plan, he managed to evade prison by agreeing to pick fruit in a nearby farm as a means of community service as well as having weekly therapy sessions in Oxford with Dr Scamander Trout until he was arrested himself when it was discovered he was a psychotic cannibal.

So now here Patrick was, alone in rural Warwickshire in a grand country mansion, and even more insane than when he started therapy as a result of the abuse he endured at the hands of Dr Trout. One day he will get his revenge, but now he needed to bide his time.

Life in lockdown was going well for him until he got a surprise on his birthday; a card from his family who still lived in Dublin. His Dad, Seamus, had disowned him after his abused his then ten year old sister, Aoife, when he himself was twenty eight, but clearly Seamus still wanted to regain touch with him like the father waiting for the parodical son to return.

Patrick knew Seamus would have to wait a long time, because the parodical son was never going to return. He didn’t need his family anymore, and Aoife was no longer attractive to him as she was now the ripe old age of twenty six. Anyway, he’d made himself a living with Paddy O’Brien’s and was happily living as a recluse in his mansion.

“Cordell”, Patrick said to his Personal Assistant as his gave him the birthday card from his family, “be a good lad and pop that in the fire, won’t you?”

“Ok, sir”, Cordell said, before walking over to the fire and burning the letter.

“Now then, I fancy a game of Croquet, meet me on the Croquet lawn once the card had burnt to a crisp,” Patrick sneered as he left the great hall.

“Ok, sir.” Cordell said.

The card took a few moments to burn, but once it did Cordell went out to the Croquet lawn to play Croquet against Patrick.

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