Baseless Society
Gordon Ainsworth, a man who considered himself a paragon of masculinity, was a little reluctant to see the Barbie movie.
He felt a respectable retired brigadier such as himself should not be seen watching a film with fluorescent pink houses and somewhat effeminate men in it.
Oppenheimer, a film about the man who created the Atomic Bomb, seems a more suitable film for a man of his ilk to watch.
But he was also reluctant to watch, out of fear that the film would bring back memories of the Cold War that he’d successfully managed to forget.
As well as that, there was also something intriguing about the Barbie movie. It seemed like a run romp, ironic, even, perhaps even, God forbid, intelligent.
Gordon had a bit of a dilemma on his hands; see one or other of the films, or miss out on what could perhaps be described as the movie event of the year, nay the decade.
“Go on, Gord, lighten up.” Joseph Benson, Progressive MP for Wells and Gordon’s old comrade from his early days, said as he took a drag of his Pimm’s.
“I don’t know. It just seems awfully pink,” Gordon said. “What would people think if they saw me entering the cinema to watch such a film? It could irreparably damage my reputation.”
“Relax, I’m going,” Joseph said, taking about a sip of his Pimm’s.
“You are, old chum?” Gordon said.
“Yeah, loads of men are, Gord.” Joseph said. “Even Elias is going, I’ve heard”
“Really? But Reverend Blackwood is staunchly opposed to homosexuality,” Gordon said. “Why would a respectable member of the clergy such as himself be going to it?”
“It doesn’t matter who you’re attracted to, Gord,” Joseph said. “a good film is a good film, and Barbie certainly looks like one. Besides, Elias is only going because Sally has convinced him to go and see it.”
“Of course, I should have know.” Gordon said. “I still have no idea why he appointed her as his youth pastor. The two do seem to be diametrically opposed to one another. But oh well, I suppose the Bible unites them.”
Gordon took a sip of his Pimm’s.
“So what do you say? How about we go together? You’ll only be missing out if you don’t go,” Joseph said.
Gordon pondered for a moment. If the Reverend Blackwood was going, then he no longer saw a problem with him going.
“Very well, I shall see the pink doll movie with you,” Gordon said.
The cinema was packed when Gordon and Joseph arrived that evening. Gordon had decided against wearing sparkly pink army fatigues for the occasion and had instead opted to wearing a normal suit and his various medals awarded to him during his military career.
“My, isn’t this exciting?” He said to himself. “I’m actually quite excited to see this.”
Gordon looked around the cinema to see if he recognised anyone else.
The Reverend Blackwood sat in the row behind Gordon, looking rather po-faced as he stared at the screen. Again, he was simply wearing his clerical uniform, rather than a sparkly pink cassock or dog collar.
Sally Davies, next to him, was dressed in Barbie’s cowboy outfit. Next to her, was her husband William, the son of the chief Traditional whip of the house of Lord’s. He was just wearing casual clothes, but seemed happier to be there than Elias.
Gordon turned round. “Good evening, Reverend,” he said, “looking forward to seeing the movie?”
“Not particularly, Ainsworth.” Elias said.
“Oh, come on, Eli, grow a pair!” Sally said. “You’re gonna enjoy it, trust me.”
“We’ll see about that,” Elias said.
After a while, the movie began.
The movie surprised Gordon by how good it was. He hooted with laughter at all the jokes. He’d hadn’t felt so elevated for a while.
Even a slight smirk appeared on Elias’ face, although most people wouldn’t have noticed it.
“Ho, ho. What’s a marvellous film!” Gordon said. “And, what’s more, I don’t feel emasculated.”
“What did I tell you? A good film is a good film,” Joseph said.
“I suppose it was vaguely amusing.” Elias said.
“Look, how about we watch Oppenheimer to make up for it,” Sally said. “I want to watch it, anyway.”
After a brief walk from the cinema, Gordon and Joseph arrived back at Gordon’s house.
“You know what, I almost feel compelled to collect Barbie dolls,” Gordon said.
“I’m not sure whether that’s a good idea, Gord,” Joseph said. “Some people find get the wrong idea if they found a grown man like you collecting toys made for young girls.”
Gordon simply laughed. “Nonsense. People have a more open mind these days. Not like the days of thirty years ago or so.”
“Very well. If you want to do that, then fine.” Joseph said. “Anyway, goodnight, Gord.”
“Good night, my good man. Until the ‘morrow.” Gordon said.
With that, Gordon and Joseph went their separate ways.
Gordon slept soundly that night, confident that he was still the man he was before watching the Barbie movie.
The Robinsonverse 