The Lower Strangling Chronicles
It was a sunny spring day in March, and the employees of leading British technology company Banana gathered at the top of 20 Fenchurch Street in London for another meeting.
“Before we decide which cutting edge technology we will be developing this year, I wish to make an announcement,” Noah Campbell, CEO of Banana, said..
His subordinates slowly leaned in with anticipation, hanging on Noah’s every word like they were monkey bars.
“It has come to my attention that the world is slowly phasing out physical currency in exchange for a digital variety,” Noah said. “Therefore I believe it would be in the companies best interests to throw our collective hat into the ring and propose our own Cryptocurrency.”
An “ooh” of awe reverberated around the long mahogany table, almost as if the people seated around it were admiring some fireworks rather than in a humdrum business meeting.
“In light of that, I would like to propose to you… Campbell Coin,” Noah said, dramatically turning the flowchart next to him to reveal a hand drawing of his grinning face on a gold coin.
His subordinates closely scrutinised the drawing.
“Why is your face on it?” Giles Richardson, one of Noah’s employees said.
“Because it is my invention and is named after me,” Noah said. “It’s only fair that my face should be the symbol that represents the currency, is it not?”
“I guess so,” Giles said.
“Is crypto still relevant?” Liam Davies, another one of Noah’s subordinates, said.
“Very much so,” Noah said. “Eventually crypto will replace pound Stirling altogether. I hope that then the time comes, it will be Campbell coin that we adopt.”
“So are you going to propose this to the government?” Dave Peterson, one of Giles’ and Liam’s colleagues, said.
“Once I’ve got your approval, yes,” Noah said. “Unfortunately you will not have any control over Campbell coin, but you will be paid in Campbell coin and I will have the ability to freeze your account should I choose to do so.”
“Are you saying that neither the Bank of England nor the government will be in control of the national economy?” Giles said.
“No, I shall be in control of Campbell coin, should my proposal be approved by the government,” Noah said.
“Well then lads,” Liam said to his colleagues. “What do we think?”
“Well, I’m sure you would be a better caretaker of the economy than the current lot,” Dave said. “Plus I doubt you’d let the power get to your head and block the cards of people who either criticise Banana or choose Apple over our products..”
“I’m glad you understand, David,” Noah said. “There is nothing to fear from a digital economy, if anything, life will be easier.”
“Having thought about it,” Giles said, “I think I can get behind Campbell coin.”
“Very well,” Noah said. “All those in favour, raise your hands please.”
Pretty much the entire table slowly raised the right hands.
Noah smiled at his ever loyal servants. He had got what he wanted, like he knew he would.
“Excellent,” Noah said. “The Cabinet is holding a meeting on Crypto currency on Thursday. I shall propose Campbell coin then”
“Why don’t we call it Banana coin?” Liam said. “Make it a team effort.”
Liam’s colleagues hummed and nodded in agreement, Noah remained silent.
“I’m afraid that will not be possible,” Noah said. “Campbell coin is solely my creation, therefore I shall be the sole owner.”
“We could still call it Banana coin, mate,” Liam said.
Noah pondered this for a moment, before replying “no.”
“You have all put your names on our other devices,” Noah said. “It is only fair that I name something after myself.”
“Suit yourself,” Liam said.
“Now then, I believe it would be best to trial Campbell coin in an isolated area so I can prove to the government that it’s worth investing in,” Noah said.
“Sounds fair,” Liam said “How are we gonna do that.”
Dave knew what the answer was going to be before Noah slowly turned round and looked him in the eye.
“Lower Strangling is surrounded by at least eight acres of countryside,” Noah said. “Would your neighbours be willing to try it out, Dave?”
Dave slowly took a sip from his water before he gave an answer.
“I’ll put it towards the council,” Dave said. “I’m not promising anything, but I can certainly tell them about it.”
“That’s fine, Dave,” Noah said.
“St Mawes is a small, isolated community ain’t it, Noah?” Liam said.
Noah paused for a moment, sipping his water.
”It is, but Lower Strangling is even more isolated,” Noah said. “I look forward to hearing back from the village council.”
With that, the meeting moved from Noah’s Crypto currency to putting forward ideas for the next Apple-competing cutting edge technology Banana could release over the coming year.
“Noah’s trying his hand at Crypto, is he?” Sarah, Dave’s wife said after he’d returned to his 16th Century manor and had got into bed ready to end the day.
”Yeah,” Dave said. “Don’t know why, he didn’t seem the sort of type.”
”I admit I mainly imaging spotty teenagers in black hoodies rather than a dignified sixty-year-old man in a suit in charge of this sort of thing,” Sarah said.
“You could interview him about it, if you’d like,” Dave said. “He still remembers that article you wrote when Apple first launched.”
”I suppose our wedding anniversary is coming up,” Sarah said. “I could report on Campbell coin to celebrate when we first met at the launch.”
“Yeah,” Dave said, sipping the glass of water next to him.
”Noah wants us to trial Campbell coin here,” Dave said. “Do you think Simon would agree to it.”
”How would it be possible?” Sarah said. “Do we give each visitor a separate crypto card for purchases within the village, which they then return upon leaving?”
”That’s one way of doing it, I suppose,” Dave said. “Either way, I’m sure we’ll think of something if the council votes unanimously to try it out.”
“Let me know how it goes,” Sarah said. “I’d be interested to hear what he thinks.”
”I will,” Dave said. “Anyway goodnight.”
With that, Dave and Sarah bid each other goodnight and went to bed, ready to begin a whole new day.
The Robinsonverse 