Vaulting Ambition
When Cygninia District Council was first established in 1974, they buried a Time Capsule filled with objects synonymous with the era, never to be opened until the council’s 50th anniversary.
However, when the anniversary finally rolled around, Cygninia’s incumbent MP Joseph Benson decided against opening the capsule, as he felt bad about replacing the Council with his own Administrative Board the moment he got elected.
But then, two years later, with the Administrative Board itself slated to be confined to the history books and replaced with Waeringshire MegaCouncil, Mr Benson decided the time was right to uncover the capsule.
He invited the people of Cygninia to gather around the bandstand, where he liked to orate most of his speeches to the masses, next to which the Time Capsule lay buried.
“For just over fifty years, a Time Capsule has been buried deep underground, right here,” Joseph said, dramatically stomping on the ground underneath his feet to make a point. “Never to be opened until the golden anniversary of Cygninia District Council’s conception.”
Some of the older members of the crowd grumbled, as they were the councillors who’d initially buried the capsule and were annoyed about the two-year delay in uncovering it.
“Today is the day we get to find out what’s enclosed within it,” Joseph said, savouring the rapturous applause of the crowd.
“Now then, without further ado, can I ask our resident digger to retrieve the capsule?” Joseph said, stepping aside.
The burly man who was Geoffrey Johnson, Head Gardener to Joseph’s political rival, Christoph Flooding, bounded over to Joseph clutching a large spade.
“OK, Geoffrey, dig away,” Joseph said, clasping his hands together and observing the garden.
“As you wish, Mr Benson, sir,” Geoffrey said, impaling the spade into the ground.
The crowds leant in as Geoffrey began to dig.
Louis Ballinger, one of the original councillors who buried the capsule, stood on his tiptoes to see over the crowd in front of him.
“Do you remember how deep we buried the capsule?” Louis said.
Victoria Beavan, an old colleague of Louis ’, grimaced at him. “Not really, it was fifty-two years ago after all. I didn’t think anything of it after we buried it.”
Louis nodded and watched the digging.
A mound of earth appeared beside Geoffrey, who was waist-deep in the ground.
Joseph laughed awkwardly. “It appears our inaugural councillors did everything they could to ensure their capsule stayed buried for fifty years.”
The crowd chuckled as Joseph tugged on his collar.
“Are you quite sure the council buried the capsule in the spot Geoffrey’s digging?” General Sir Gordon Ainsworth, the Chief Administrator of Cygninia’s Administrative Board. “I’d hope you, of all people, would orchestrate a comprehensive reconnaissance mission of the area to locate the exact location of the capsule.”
“Everything is as it should be, Gordon,” Joseph said, bowing whilst smiling sheepishly. “I conferred with the people who originally buried the box, and they confirmed it was two meters to the left of the bandstand.”
By now, Geoffrey had disappeared deep into the hole, with seemingly no end in sight.
“You need Ground Penetrating Radar, my good man,” Gordon said, chortling. “I’m aware of a search and rescue company that is specifically trained in this sort of thing.”
“I’ll keep that in mind when I need to find another hidden item,” Joseph said, before gazing into the hole. “Are you alright, Geoffrey?”
“I am, Mr Benson, sir,” Geoffrey said. “There’s nothing down here, yet.”
“Keep digging, Geoffrey,” Joseph said. “Surely the capsule is buried this side of the water table.”
“We may have buried the capsule on the other side,” Cliff Clump, one of the oldest members of the original council, said, pointing to his right.
“Let’s wait and see how old Geoffrey gets on before we tell Benson, shall we?” Louis Ballinger said, before crossing his arms and watching the snow.
There was a faint clang that piqued everyone’s interest.
“I’ve hit metal, sir,†Geoffrey said. “It looks like it could be a box of some sort.”
A wave of ‘oohs’ ran through the crowds.
“Excellent, Geoffrey,” Joseph said, brushing some sweat off his brow. “Pick up the object, and we’ll bring you to the surface.”
Joseph beckoned several of his Administrators, including Gordon, William Darcy, Earl of Cisnie, and Geoffrey’s own son Chris, towards the hole.
Several people climbed into the hole and formed a human rope.
With one hand clutching a cylindrical box, Geoffrey grabbed onto his son’s hand, and together the Administrators used all their strength to pull the muscular gardener to the surface.
“We never had to do this when we were in the council,” Cyril Swanson said, scoffing.
“How did we get out, whoever buried the capsule, then?” Natalie Fradgley said, raising an eyebrow. “Who did bury the capsule, anyway?”
“I don’t quite remember,” Cyril said. “But they had a good go at it, whoever they were.”
“Hopefully it wasn’t poor old Trevor Cowcher,” Natalie said. “Then again, if it was, it’s probably for the best; he’s not alive to see the utter shambles we’re witnessing right now.”
Cyril grunted and nodded.
Eventually, Geoffrey arrived on the surface, and the denizens of Cygninia broke into rapturous applause.
Geoffrey strode towards them and held the soil-covered metal box as if he were a baboon dangling a small lion cub over a rock edge.
“That’s it?” Louis Ballenger said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure it was a lot bigger than that when we buried it.”
Geoffrey ceremoniously handed the Time Capsule over to Joseph, took one final bow, then hobbled into the crowd.
“Here it is, the object we’ve been waiting for,” Joseph said, smiling at the metal box in his hands. “Elaborately buried by the first members of Cygninia District Council.”
“Are you going to open it, then?” Louis Ballinger said, having wanted to go home about half an hour ago.
“Yes, of course,” Joseph said, laughing awkwardly. “Let’s see what’s inside, shall we?”
But as Joseph went to open the capsule, he found it hard to get it open.
He used all his strength to pry it open, but the lid wouldn’t budge.
“Is it locked?” A burgher of Cygninia said. “Do you need a key or a code of some sort?”
“No, all it requires is a bit of elbow grease,” Joseph said, his face crimson from the struggle. “Which my old comrades in the army often commented on my copious supply of.”
“Yes, absolutely,” Gordon said, hooting. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find some more in your proverbial store cupboard.”
“It will come to me any moment now,” Joseph said, despite his veins being precariously close to bursting from his skin. “The capsule will reveal its secrets within the next few minutes.”
“Right, I’m off,” Natalie Fradgley said. “Let me know what we buried in the box. It was probably a load of long-forgotten records and disintegrated newspaper.”
Her old friends bid her farewell, just as Geoffrey bounded up to Joseph.
“Would you like to use some of my elbow grease, Mr Benson, sir?” Geoffrey said. “I think I can muster up enough to open the capsule.”
Joseph loosened his grip on the box and quickly inhaled.
“Fine. Over to you,” Joseph said, flinging the tin into Geoffrey’s chest before climbing into the bandstand and sitting on the floor.
“My, this is quickly becoming the Geoffrey Show, isn’t it?” Gordon said. “It’s a shame Christoph doesn’t seem to have turned up to see his Head Gardener take full advantage of his fifteen minutes of fame.”
“That’s not really surprising, though, is it?” Chris said, watching his father try to open the capsule. “Not turning up for things is kind of his thing, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it is, in a way,” Gordon said.
With minimal effort, Geoffrey uncapped the Time Capsule and held the lid before the applauding crowd.
Joseph ran down from the bandstand and retrieved the box and the limelight from Geoffrey, who disappeared into the crowd.
“Now then, let’s see what’s actually in this,” Joseph said, sifting through the box.
A crinkling sound signalled the unveiling of a crisp packet.
The crowd gasped and gawped at the object.
With raised eyebrows, they glanced at each other and muttered things.
Many in the crowd turned to the original councillors, hoping they’d explain themselves, but they met them with only shrugs.
“Ah, a packet of Stroller’s Ready Salted,” Joseph said. “I’m sure that will bring back a few memories for some of you.”
“Interesting. We filled a Time Capsule with litter and buried it six feet underground,” Louis Ballinger said. “Clearly none of us really cared about it.”
Joseph examined the packet. “Best before 1st of May 1974. Vintage.”
The MP folded the crisp packet, put it in his pocket, ready to donate it to the local museum, and continued sifting through the capsule.
Joseph brought out Several more packets and cartons of defunct food and drink from the 1970s and read out the best-before dates, and sometimes the ingredients in case they featured items that have long since been banned.
The crowds growled and grumbled at the people who buried the capsule; some even scowled at them and shook their fists.
Eventually, Joseph brought out something more interesting: an original studio record of Pennon’s seminal album Man on the Lam.
“It’s not even the best band Jeff Peterson’s been in,” a member of the crowd said, set to the District Council Set.
“They’re objects from the seventies, dear,” Victoria Beavan said. “Jeff left the Ants in 1969.”
The crowd cursed under their breath and turned back to Joseph, shaking their heads.
“And now, last but not least,” Joseph said, stuffing his hand in the box.
Joseph’s audience leaned in, anticipating the grand finale.
At long last, Cygninia’s MP brought forth from the Time Capsule… a dusty leather wallet.
Louis eyes widened when he saw it, as his mouth hung loose.
“An old wallet,” Joseph said, inspecting the insides. “Complete with money and cards.”
“That’s where it was!” Louis said, startling the people around him. “I wondered where I’d put it.”
Victoria pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.
“Well, there we have it,” Joseph said. “A wonderful array of objects from the 1970s. I’m sure the museum will be more than happy to display these items.”
“They’re not getting the wallet, that’s for sure,” Louis said, pushing through the crowd to get to Joseph. “I spent months searching for that.”
As the MP placed the wallet onto the pile of future exhibits for the museum, Louis lumbered over to him.
“Wait! Wait!” Louis said, snatching the item from Joseph. “That’s mine, thank you. I didn’t mean to place it in the capsule.”
Mr Benson shuffled back a step or two, as the crowd ‘oohed’ the drama unfurling in front of them.
The MP stared incredulously as Louis sifted through his pochette, ignoring his captured audience.
“Well, everyone, we appear to be joined by one of our pioneering councillors,” Joseph said, laughing and gesturing towards Louis. “Reunited with some lost property after half a century.”
Louis sighed, stooping over and hanging his arms low.
He turned towards Joseph and thrust the wallet back into his hands.
“Take it; it’s no use to me now,” Louis said. “I’ve had several wallets since I lost that one.”
Joseph gawped at Louis as he trundled through the crowd, blinking rapidly.
A huge beaming grin appeared on the MP’s face as he regained control of the situation.
“Wasn’t that wonderful?” Joseph said, clasping his hands in front of him. “That’s enough frivolity for today, I think. Have a wonderful rest of your day, and make sure to visit Cygninia Museum in a week, where you’ll be able to see the contents of the Time Capsule up close.”
With that, the MP took one final breath and relaxed.
As he packed up the Time Capsule, ready to donate to the museum, the crowd dispersed, eager to carry on with their lives.
“I say, the fun we’ve had today has given me the most splendid idea!” Gordon said, guffawing. “How about we bury a Time Capsule of our own, to make the opening of the MegaCouncil. Some of the younger chaps and chapettes among you could open it again in fifty years! Ho! Ho!”
“No thanks, Gord,” Chris said, rubbing his weary eyes. “You’re good.”
With that, the crowds emptied the area around the bandstand as quickly as they filled it, and none of them spoke about the Time Capsule again until it became an official exhibit in the local museum.
